Definitions of Designations


Definitions of Designations:

Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.

Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.

Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.

Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby.

Tester is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby.

HR Manager is a person who thinks that...

a Donkey can deliver a Human Baby - if given 9 Months !!!

Economic realities in today's world--its true.....!!!

I found it very Interesting.....Don't miss last two Questions...

Some, rather most organizations reject his CV today because he has
changed jobs frequently (10 in 14 years). My friend, the 'job
hopper' (referred here as Mr. JH), does not mind it.... well he does
not need to mind it at all. Having worked full-time with 10 employer
companies in just 14 years gives Mr. JH the relaxing edge that most of
the 'company loyal' employees are struggling for today. Today, Mr. JH
too is laid off like some other 14-15 year experienced guys - the
difference being the latter have just worked in 2-3 organizations in
the same number of years. Here are the excerpts of an interview with
Mr. JH:

Q: Why have you changed 10 jobs in 14 years?
A: To get financially sound and stable before getting laid off the
second time.

Q: So you knew you would be laid off in the year 2009?
A: Well I was laid off first in the year 2002 due to the first global
economic slowdown. I had not got a full-time job before January 2003
when the economy started looking up; so I had struggled for almost a
year without job and with compromises.

Q: Which number of job was that?
A: That was my third job.

Q: So from Jan 2003 to Jan 2009, in 6 years, you have changed 8 jobs
to make the count as 10 jobs in 14 years?
A: I had no other option. In my first 8 years of professional life, I
had worked only for 2 organizations thinking that jobs are deserved
after lot of hard work and one should stay with an employer company to
justify the saying 'employer loyalty'. But I was an idiot.

Q: Why do you say so?
A: My salary in the first 8 years went up only marginally. I could not
save enough and also, I had thought that I had a 'permanent' job, so I
need not worry about 'what will I do if I lose my job'. I could never
imagine losing a job because of economic slowdown and not because of
my performance. That was January 2002.

Q: Can you brief on what happened between January 2003 and 2009.
A: Well, I had learnt my lessons of being 'company loyal' and not
'money earning and saving loyal'. But then you can save enough only
when you earn enough. So I shifted my loyalty towards money making and
saving - I changed 8 jobs in 6 years assuring all my interviewers
about my stability.

Q: So you lied to your interviewers; you had already planned to change
the job for which you were being interviewed on a particular day?
A: Yes, you can change jobs only when the market is up and companies
are hiring. You tell me - can I get a job now because of the slowdown?
No. So one should change jobs for higher salaries only when the market
is up because that is the only time when companies hire and can afford
the expected salaries.

Q: What have you gained by doing such things?
A: That's the question I was waiting for. In Jan 2003, I had a fixed
salary (without variables) of say Rs. X p.a. In January 2009, my
salary was 8X. So assuming my salary was Rs.3 lakh p.a. in Jan 2003,
my last drawn salary in Jan 2009 was Rs.24 lakh p.a. (without
variable). I never bothered about variable as I had no intention to
stay for 1 year and go through the appraisal process to wait for the
company to give me a hike.

Q: So you decided on your own hike?
A: Yes, in 2003, I could see the slowdown coming again in future like
it had happened in 2001-02. Though I was not sure by when the next
slowdown would come, I was pretty sure I wanted a 'debt-free' life
before being laid off again. So I planned my hike targets on a yearly
basis without waiting for the year to complete.

Q: So are you debt-free now?
A: Yes, I earned so much by virtue of job changes for money and spent
so little that today I have a loan free 2 BR flat (1200 sq. feet) plus
a loan free big car without bothering about any EMIs. I am laid off
too but I do not complain at all. If I have laid off companies for
money, it is OK if a company lays me off because of lack of money.

Q: Who is complaining?
A: All those guys who are not getting a job to pay their EMIs off are
complaining. They had made fun of me saying I am a job hopper and do
not have any company loyalty. Now I ask them what they gained by their
company loyalty; they too are laid off like me and pass comments to me
- why will you bother about us, you are already debt-free. They were
still in the bracket of 12-14 lakh p.a. when they were laid off.

Q: What is your advice to professionals?
A: Like Narayan Murthy had said - love your job and not your company
because you never know when your company will stop loving you. In the
same lines, love yourself and your family needs more than the
company's needs. Companies can keep coming and going; family will
always remain the same. Make money for yourself first and
simultaneously make money for the company, not the other way around.

Q: What is your biggest pain point with companies?
A: When a company does well, its CEO etc will address the entire
company saying, 'well done guys, it is YOUR company, keep up the hard
work, I am with you." But when the slowdown happens and the company
does not do so well, the same CEO etc will say, "It is MY company and
to save the company, I have to take tough decisions including asking
people to go." So think about your financial stability first; when you
get laid off, your kids will complain to you and not your boss.

Virtual Diary

* Open a notepad and type .LOG (case sensitive) as the first line.
* Save and close the file on your desktop(probably save it as filename:"diary").
* Double-click the file to open it and notice that Notepad appends the current date
And time and places the cursor on the next line.
* Type your notes and then save and close the file.

Each time you open the file, Notepad repeats the process,
Appending the time and date and placing the cursor below it.

TWO BEAUTIFUL STORIES

TWO BEAUTIFUL STORIES
Story 1:
There was once this guy who was very much in love with his girl..
This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as agift to his girl.
Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his
future doesn't seem too bright, they were very happy together. Until one day,
his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told
him that she cannot visualize any future for the both of them, so they went their own ways
there and then... Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regained his confidence, he
worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of
himself.
Finally with all the hard work and the help of friends, this guy had
set up his own company .. You never fail until you stop trying. One rainy day, while this guy was
driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination. Even
with the umbrella, they were still drenched. It didn't take him long to realize they were his
girl's parents. With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them
to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same any more; he had
his own company, car, condo, etc. He made it! What he saw next confused him, the couple was walking
towards a cemetery, and so he got out of his car and followed...and he saw his girl, a photograph of her
smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone and he saw his paper cranes right beside her...
Her parents saw him. He asked them why this had happened. They
explained, she did not leave for France at all.
She was ill with cancer. She had believed that he will make it someday,
but she did not want to be his obstacle... therefore she had chosen to leave him. Just because
someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. She
had wanted her parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings
him to her again...he can take some of those back with him... Once you have loved, you will always love. For
what's in your mind may escape but what's in your heart will remain forever.
The guy just wept.....The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside her knowing you can't have her,
see her or be with her ever again....... ..hope you understand. Find time to realise that there is one person
who means so much to you, for you might wake up one morning losing that person who you thought meant nothing to you.
KINDNESS Pays !
Story 2

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his
way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.
He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house.
However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.
Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water.
She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large
glass of milk He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?"
"You don't owe me anything," she replied "Mother has taught us never to
accept payment for a kindness."
He said... "Then I thank you from my heart."
As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt; stronger physically,
but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.
Years later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors
were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare
disease. Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation.
When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled
his eyes. Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her
room. Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her.
He recognized her at once. He went back to the consultation
room determined to do his best to save her life. >From that day he gave
special attention to the case.
After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the
business office to pass the final bill to him for approval.
He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent
to her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for
it all. Finally, she looked, and something caught her attention on the side as she read these
words.....
"Paid in full with one glass of milk." (Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.
Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You,
GOD, that Your love has spread abroad through human hearts and hands."
NOW YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES.
You can send this page on and spread a positive message or ignore it and pretend it never touched you.